January 26, 2024 How I processed my shame | #40 Facebook Twitter Linkedin Listen to the Full Episode: Download this...
Read MoreCAREGIVER SUPPORT COACHING
Caregiver support coaching for women caring for a parent with dementia
You can take care of your aging parents, raise your kids, do your work, and still have a life that feels like yours. I help you get there, without the guilt that tells you you’re not allowed to want it.
Not ready to talk yet? Start with my free guide, 10 Essential Tips for Caregivers.
"You helped me discover new perspectives that have brought me peace and freedom as my caregiving responsibilities grow. I am so grateful for such amazing help as I learn to thrive in this challenging role."
Barbara N.
If this is you
You're holding everyone up. Nobody's holding you.
You manage the appointments, the medications, the moods that change by the hour. You pick up the phone at work and sound fine. You get dinner on the table. From the outside you look like someone who has it handled.
Inside, you feel dead.
You carry guilt for resenting a parent who needs you. You carry more guilt for the nights you snap at your kids because there’s nothing left in the tank. And somewhere in the last few years you stopped being able to answer a simple question: who are you now, underneath everyone you take care of?
Here’s the part no one says out loud. The exhaustion isn’t only the workload. It’s the story running underneath it. The one that says a good daughter sacrifices everything and never complains. That strong people don’t feel the ugly feelings. That wanting a life of your own makes you selfish. That story is the thing breaking you. Not your mother. Not the diagnosis. The story.
You can put it down.
Your guide
I'm Iryna, and I've been exactly where you are.
I see you.
In my early thirties I was caring for my mother and a newborn at the same time. My baby was learning to walk and talk. My mother was going the other direction. Paralyzed, needing help with everything, her mind slipping away from her. We lived on two continents. I was her only daughter and her only caregiver, so I flew between Ukraine and California every ninety days with my baby on my hip.
I had a dozen roles and no idea who I was inside any of them. The woman who had been my best friend and my role model turned into someone aggressive and cruel, and I hated myself for resenting her. Most days I wanted to hide under the blankets until it was over.
It took me years to come back to life after she passed. When I did, I went looking for why it had gone so badly, and I found two answers. I had cast myself as the victim of my circumstances and believed every word of it. And I had decided I was supposed to be superhuman, which meant never feeling anything a superhuman wasn’t allowed to feel.
So I trained to become the help I couldn’t find when I needed it. That’s the work I do now, every week, with women carrying what you’re carrying.
- Two decades of lived caregiving experience
- Dementia Dialogues specialist
- Coaching caregivers for more than six years
How coaching works
It’s simpler than you’d expect, and you’ll know after the first call whether it’s right for you.
1
Book your free consultation call
We talk through what you’re dealing with and what you want to be different. We both decide if we’re a good match. No pitch, no pressure.
2
Start weekly coaching
We meet one on one, one hour a week, for twelve weeks. Online, so it fits around your appointments and your kids.
3
Get yourself back
You stop running on autopilot. You make decisions without drowning in guilt, set limits with family without apologizing, and feel like a person again while you’re still caring for the people you love.
What I help you work through
Guilt that follows you everywhere
Burnout that bubble baths don't touch
Decision fatigue
Grieving a parent who is still alive
Resentment you're afraid to say out loud
Boundaries with family who don't get it
Losing your sense of who you are
What it costs
If you keep going like this
Caregiver burnout isn’t a mood you wait out. It shows up as the health problems you keep putting off, the resentment leaking onto your kids, the marriage running on fumes, the version of you your family stopped recognizing.
Push it far enough and you have nothing left for the person you’re caring for, which is the one thing you swore would never happen. You can keep white-knuckling it and find out where that ends. Or you can deal with it now, while it’s still your choice to make.
What changes
What's on the other side of this
Twelve weeks from now you could be:
- Making strong decisions on your own and trusting them
- Clear on who you are and what you want from your life now
- Done settling for a "new normal" you never agreed to
- Setting boundaries without the guilt spiral
- Able to feel any emotion without hiding from it
- Actually liking your life again, while you're still a caregiver
From women who were where you are
“You helped me navigate taking on the role of a parent to my own parents. Thanks to you, I can make good, healthy choices for myself and my relationships now. I’m so grateful I found you when I did.”
Hanna M.
“I’m not distressed. I’m not bewildered, I’m not offended. I’m not even angry… I didn’t even know it was possible.”
Jessa B.
“You help me feel alive and smile again. I feel like I’m living a life that I didn’t have for so long.”
Diana O.
Work with me
Twelve weeks of one on one coaching. One hour a week, online, just you and me. We pair a real understanding of dementia and caregiving with the emotional support no one hands you when you take on this role.
This is for you if
- You're on autopilot, getting everything done while feeling nothing
- You can't find time for yourself or your own family at the end of the day
- People praise your caregiving while you feel dead inside and wonder how long you can keep going
- You're tired of feeling guilty and resentful, and self-care tips aren't cutting it
- You've looked for help beyond what therapy gave you
- You want to live your life now, not after your parents pass and your kids move out, even if you're not sure that's possible
This isn't the right time if
- You're not willing to make yourself a priority
- You want to vent about how hard it is but you're not ready to change anything
- You're struggling to get out of bed or manage basic daily care
- You're having thoughts of harming yourself or others
- You have a diagnosis that isn't currently being managed by a licensed mental health professional
If you’re in crisis or having thoughts of harming yourself, please don’t wait. In the US you can call or text 988 any time. Coaching isn’t emergency support, and I want you safe first.
Before you book
Frequently Asked Questions
What is caregiver coaching?
It’s focused work on you, not on care logistics. We deal with the guilt, resentment, burnout, and lost sense of self that come with caring for an aging parent, so you can keep going without losing yourself in the process. You leave with tools you actually use, not just a place to vent.
How is this different from therapy?
Therapy often looks back to understand how you got here and treats diagnosed conditions. Coaching starts with where you are now and where you want to go, and gets you moving. A lot of my clients come to me after therapy wanting something more active and forward-facing. If you need clinical mental health care, coaching doesn’t replace it.
Do you work with people caring for a parent with dementia?
Yes. That’s where most of my clients are, and it’s my own story. I’m a Dementia Dialogues specialist, so you won’t have to explain sundowning or why the person in front of you doesn’t feel like your parent anymore. I already understand it.
Do we meet in person or online?
Online, so it fits around appointments, work, and your kids, wherever you are.
How long does coaching last?
Twelve weeks. One hour a week, one on one.
What does it cost?
We go over the options on the free consultation call, once we both know it’s a fit.
I'm caring for my parents and raising my own kids at the same time. Can you help with that?
Yes, that’s most of who I work with. You’re holding two generations at once and disappearing in the middle. That middle is exactly where coaching focuses.
How do I know if coaching is right for me?
That’s what the free call is for. We talk it through and decide together. If I’m not the right fit for you, I’ll tell you.
Is the first call really free?
Yes. It’s a consultation for both of us to see if we should work together. No cost, no obligation.
Blog
Honest writing for caregivers who want a life of their own
On guilt, boundaries, burnout, and the parts of caregiving no one talks about.
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You don't have to wait to have a life
You don’t have to wait until your parents pass or your kids move out to have a life. You can have one now, alongside everything you carry. Let’s find out if I’m the right person to help you do it.
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Iryna Ishchenko
Copyright © 2026 Iryna Ishchenko